If you have ADHD or ADD, do you argue with other people often? I mean, do you spend half-an-hour exchanging words without getting your point across? Even when you're saying exactly the same thing as the person you're arguing with, you can't come to a meeting of the minds. How frustrating is that?
No wonder you're frustrated! Arguments just make you feel off-balance. But often, arguments arise not because there's a difference in opinion, but only a difference in how the opinion is expressed. Many people with AD/HD have this problem and when you don't feel understood, it can also make you feel very, very alone. It's like nobody understands you.
But when you learn a few tricks about communicating clearly, this will happen to you much less often.
Notice how easy life is for people that communicate well. They' re able to express what they want clearly and most of the time, they get it. And these skills are applicable whether you're talking about business or inter-personal relationships.
For instance, you're in a restaurant and you tell the server what you want for your meal. You say, "I'll have scrambled eggs and bacon." But you forgot to tell the server you needed ketchup for your eggs. So, he goes to get it for you. In the meantime, you've looked at your bacon and it's crispy, when you prefer it to be a bit chewy. Now, you're unhappy with the cook. So, you tell the server and he takes the bacon and brings back fresh, which is cooked to your order. But wait! You forgot to get some jelly for the toast that came on the side, so now, you want jelly. The server is ready to go bananas!
Of course he is. If you had said, "I'd like scrambled eggs and chewy bacon, with ketchup on the side, and jelly for my toast," much of that push and pull wouldn't have happened. But you didn't communicate what you wanted clearly. The old saying still applies: The shortest distance between any two points is a straight line.
In business, clarity of communication is very important. What happens when your boss brings you a job and explains it, but you're still fuzzy on the details? Do you speak up, or just do the job your way? If you don't get answers to make the task clear and do it wrong, then what? It's important to ask questions when you don't quite understand what your boss means. For all you know, unless they've been open about it, he or she might be AD/HD, too, and has trouble explaining things clearly..
But what if you're on the other end of this process--you're the one giving instructions? Now, it's very important to be perfectly clear about what you want. But you can't leave it at that. At the end of your explanation, you have to say, "Was anything about what I just told you unclear?" Don't just trot off after a quick explanation and think that the person understands because they well may not. You have to leave the door open for questions, especially because instantaddsuccess.com/" target="_blank you have AD/HD and have a tendency to be unclear. If your employee feels that your door is open to them, they'll be more confident about doing their job, too.
Once you realize that you can explain something fully and have better communications with everyone, your life will get easier. Forget that when you were a kid you were probably chastised for talking too much. In response, you're just talking too little! Be clear and make yourself heard. Better communication skills will help you in any situation.
Tellman Knudson is CEO of OvercomeEverything, Inc. and a certified hypnotherapist and NLP practitioner who has helped many clients instantaddsuccess.comachieve ADD Success. Visit his comprehensive library of ADD information and join the forum at InstantADDSuccess.com ( instantaddsuccess.com instantaddsuccess.com)